By Alexandra Vallas '15Copy Editor
To the girl outside of Smiley on January 30: I told you I loved you. I’m not entirely sure this isn’t true. This is because I have no idea who you are. See, I thought you were a friend who has been promising me a serenade/window visit for the past week. You said a name at the beginning that I missed, and I just sort of assumed it was that friend recognizing me by my loudly projected retelling of the final scene of “Fifty Shades of Grey” and discussion of BDSM. It looks like I was wrong. However, the person you were actually looking for is very lucky because you said some very lovely things about her/him! So although we may not have met under the most romantic of circumstances, I’m still not entirely sure that I don’t love you. I just, you know, think we ought to meet first, since I’m not very keen on professing my love to people without having at least learned their name (though of course, that’s usually enough for me). (P.S. If you sing musical duets outside of Smiley, I’m 100% guaranteed to respond in harmony if I know the words and am in my room. So come back by and bring your favorite love duet and I’ll show you the “Colors of the Wind” if that’s something you might be into.) To my friend: This isn’t infriendelity. I promise. You know you’re the only one for me.