By Luena Maillard ‘20
Hello! Welcome to my new column! Here you will find answers to anonymous Questions from Scripps students, submissions can be posted to a google doc shared on the Scripps student FB page, but if you’re willing to type it out, here is the link:
How do I get my boyfriend to take an STD test?
Hey No Confrontation,
This can be a difficult conversation to have, as it can be taken in many different ways by your partner. As cliché as this sounds, trust me I know, the most important thing when having this conversation with your boyfriend is honesty and good communication. That sounds really vague, but if you just express to them your sincere thoughts and reasons, they should be able to understand. Try to stress the ideas of comfort and certainty, that you two would be able to feel way more comfortable together if you were 100% certain there would be no risk of transmitting something.
Try not to single out anything specific about them that could be taken badly (ex. “I know you’ve slept with a lot of people, etc.”), rather make it clear that you would be asking this regardless of who your partner is, maybe even going as far as to say it’s your “personal policy” whenever you’re dating someone new.
Another thing that would make the interaction less uncomfortable is that you can offer to go with them to get tested/even get tested yourself! This would make it easier on your partner, as well as make it something you two can do together for your relationship.
Lastly, and most importantly, stand your ground. This is a hard conversation, but you are looking out for your own safety and that of your boyfriend. It’s important to you, so it should be important to them as well, and while it may be awkward to talk about, don’t shy away from having this talk.
Also, alongside hormonal methods (the Pill, IUD, Nuvaring, etc) make sure to continue/start using barrier methods (condoms, dental dams, etc)
How do you perform oral sex on an uncircumcised penis?
-Embarrassed and uneducated
Hey Embarrassed and Uneducated,
The truth is, while there are some differences to oral sex with an uncircumcised penis, for the most part it’s the same as oral sex with a circumcised penis. The same blowjob techniques usually work on both. With an uncircumcised penis, you’re obviously going to be working with foreskin, which just means a few minor adjustments. You might need to gently pull the foreskin back just enough to expose the head if it is covering it. And of course, you can always ask your partner what they like, because it does vary from person to person.