Scripps College Problem #49: Family Photos

By Earnest Eleanor, Staff Satirist Friday nights in Claremont tend to be dead. My Fridays usually involve me catching up on the week’s new TV shows and staying up late for no reason. I sleep in on Saturdays. Snuggled up in that twin extra long, I can’t help but notice that “extra long” still doesn’t seem quite big enough for me to adequately stretch in all directions. My comfort levels are slightly less than optimum as I snooze and wait until the golden hour: 10:45 a.m. Time to get brunch—the best of all meals.

Last Saturday was an exceptionally lethargic day. After brunch I was too lazy to make the arduous two-minute trek over to the field house pool. Instead, I opted for the much shorter one- and-a-half minute walk to Jaqua Quad, where I settled onto the grass (on my 100 percent Turkish Cotton beach tow- el, of course).

Just as I had started to enjoy the sun’s rays hitting my skin, which had become dangerously close to pale after half a semester’s worth of accumulated min- utes—nay, hours—in the library and by Claremont’s sporadic rainy days, I heard a child laughing. And a child crying.

A family of four was taking family photos. The source of less-than-relaxing sounds disturbing my sunning came from them. The laughter and tears I’d overheard came from their children: quite possibly two of the most adorable children in the universe (seriously, though). One child played with her father while a frustrated photographer at- tempted to coerce the younger brother into holding a teddy bear and pretending to enjoy getting his photo taken.

This family was not the only one on Scripps’ campus that day. From my position on the lawn, it seemed as though our ivy-covered walls would soon be the backdrop for family portraits gracing many a living room. For the next several years, at least.

Let’s face it: Scripps has a gorgeous campus. We have an abundance of greenery—lush and comfy watered lawns, not to mention those neatly trimmed hedges. And we have gardens: rose gardens, vegetable and fruit gardens, gardens enclosed by stucco walls, secret gardens I probably haven’t found yet.... Last year, Yahoo! News voted Scripps College as the fourth most beautiful campus in the world. (Yeah, that’s fourth most beautiful in the world. No big deal, just more beautiful than hundreds of other colleges all over the world. Really, you can hold the applause.).

But how am I supposed to focus on academics when there are families using our gorgeous campus? More importantly, how am I supposed to relax on our lush green lawn when it’s the site of a photoshoot? All these cute kids running around are really distracting. I take one second to look up from the philosophy reading I’ve brought outside with me (the sun creates quite a glare on the white paper, and it’s important to give your eyes a rest every now and then, you know) and BAM! Cute kids. Pretty cam- pus. My gaze relaxes as I take it all in and I forget about philosophy (or what- ever I was reading) and academics and all I can do is appreciate our amazing campus and how lucky I am to be studying here. Double distraction.

Maybe Scripps maintenance should stop watering the lawns and planting flowers. Then families would stop admiring the beauty of Scripps College and I could actually get my homework done.

It’s a tough life at Scripps, it really is.