Scripps College Problem #1

By Earnest Eleanor

The school year is drawing to a close and the sunny Claremont weather is shining down on us every day. These sunny days come not without impending doom. No, I’m not talking about finals. I’m not talking about the occasional sunburn. And I’m not talking about the absolute horrors of senior theses. (Mercifully, those are pretty much over by now).

No, I’m talking about a much more serious problem. I’m talking about Scripps College Problem Number One. I’m talking about my lack of sundresses.

Specifically, the lack of sundresses I own that are not already in another Scrippsie’s wardrobe. As I look in my closet every morning, trying to find a floral print that I haven’t already seen, I feel the despair that can only accompany a mind full of regret at not splurging on my summer shopping trip the year before to stock up before it had already been too late.

I pulled a coral sundress off the hanger with great trepidation as I re-called an encounter I had between a fellow Scrippsie a few weeks earlier while wearing the same coral dress.

I was finishing up at the dining hall, putting my typical two pumps of Hazelnut Coffeemate into my drink before adding half milk and just a dash of coffee. I turned around abruptly, remembering that I had only a few minutes to print out my reading before class, and almost ran into what looked to be a first-year. A first year wearing the same dress as me.

We shared the usual head nod and the “oh wow can’t believe that we have the same dress!” smile and look before I managed to duck away and separate myself from the embarrassing little fashion redundancy. I quickly headed off to the Student Union. Somehow, miraculously, I almost ran into her again as I was leaving the SU (I took a detour so we wouldn’t be embarrassed by having to repeat our feigned camaraderie over our similar tastes in sundress options for the day) and again, two hours later, while I was studying in the Motley. Of course, I should have known I’d run into the little sundress duplicate in the Motley. Because that’s what happens at Scripps: you walk around campus for more than half an hour and you’ve seen the same people four times. Our small community is usually a homey comfort, but it becomes mortifyingly confining when all you want to do is escape from your fashion doppelganger.

Emerging from my traumatic sundress flashback, awash in the remembered mortification, I reluctantly started buttoning up my dress, dreading the moment(s) when I would see that first-year again. She would probably be wearing the same dress again, because that’s how my life works.

It’s not that having the same dress as someone else is so bad. Although the head nod and smile do get a bit tiring (seriously, how did I see her three times in the same three hour time span?). It’s seeing all the other sundresses that makes it so bad that I’ve been caught in the same style of dress as someone else. Everyone else seems to have a limitless supply of cute new dresses, so how is it that I manage to select the unoriginal ones that overlap with at least one other Scrippsie’s sundress of the day? How am I expected to keep wearing the same dresses over and over again when I walk across the quad and see the myriad floral prints, different colored stripes and colors without feeling a twinge of jealously? Until I own all the sundresses in the world, I’ll have to suffer through the agony of my boring, repetitive clothing.

It’s a tough life at Scripps, it really is.